Talk... Over-Expose

So here's my issue: I have no interest in my own future. At all. I might as well not exist. Being an active and beneficial part of someone else's life is, therefore, the only practical use I have identified for myself. If this function is missing or cannot be successfully achieved, I lack purpose. And that's a horrible state in which to be. And that is where I am.

I'm selfish. That is why I do the things I do. I want the positive results for myself.

I work tomorrow. I have had the last two days off. I spent all of Monday cleaning. Today was entirely Sims 2-oriented. Sometimes, I hear my coworkers discussing World of Warcraft and I realize that my PC game fetish isn't as pathetic as it could be.

The Project Manager has concluded there is a conspiracy on the floor and is attempting to ferret out the participants. We suspect he is trying to clean things up before a new Operations Manager is appointed. I am looking forward to being pulled into the Project Manager's office again for one of our increasingly frequent "chats".

This mind set, though hollow, is also very liberating. It eliminates fear and worry. I don't feel invincible, but I'm not concerned about consequences. I feel as though I can kick through the plexiglass wall of a bus shelter.

Back to Sims.