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My Fat Ass

2007-01-17

Forced daily update, begin.

I crafted a casual run in with Smart last Tuesday night. I brought along my cable bill as proof to myself that my rare jaunt outside had nothing to do with Smart. I was looking for a mailbox. Yes, I already knew where that one mailbox was -- on the corner of Proxy and McDuff, next to the leaky bus shelter. But that one is a ten-minute waddle away, slightly downhill, and, since being fired from Comcourse, I have no reason to be in that area.

So I headed in the opposite direction and actually found a new mailbox -- and it cuts two minutes off my travel time (four for a round trip). It's near the bottom of Wellington (my street), close to Junction Creek where Smart and I do most of our standing and drinking.

My immediate neighbourhood is a grid and every street starts with a W -- Wellington, Worthington, Wembley, Winchester, Worchester, Westmorland, Wes Borland. I'm lying about that last one, but there is a Borland avenue in a neighbouring grid. The point is, I became easily lost when I moved in a year ago and typically didn't stray beyond the streets with which I was already familiar. Finding that new mailbox filled me with a sense of competency. It was nearing nine pm and was cold as hell out, but the sky was clear and there wasn't much snow so I decided to wander a bit to see what I could see. All casual-like.

I crossed the Junction Creek bridge and headed up the street Smart and I have taken a dozen times or so. Smart would be done work at nine (I assumed he would not be doing any overtime since Wednesday is his day off). He preferred walking over taking the bus and there is only one way to get from downtown to our neighbourhood by foot. I set a pace that would maximize the cardiovascular impact of my walk. It would also get me to the underpass just as Smart was emerging.

I calculated (quite passively, of course) everything accurately, but Smart did not appear (I learned later that his cousin had come into town and picked him up at work). I huddled in the underpass and waited -- for the wind to dissipate. Since that didn't seem to be happening, I decided finally to call Smart. I figured that I had to walk back the way I came anyway and it would be more interesting with another person. This is what I communicated to Smart when he answered his phone.

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