In the Cross-Hairs

Before I begin: Alec Baldwin, you are an ass.

In other news, I have a boy coming over.

Socially, I am a 16 year old girl. When it comes to relationships and interacting with people, I am grossly stunted. Lack of experience, lack of any innate social intelligence, and bad skin all combine to create a stuttering blob of awkwardness. So, even though I have been 25 for two weeks now, this is the first time I will have a boy over to my home. So I am flustered and I am practicing casual conversation.

I'm practicing nodding while smiling. I'm practicing looking cute when apparently focused on something else. Last night, I practiced sleeping as though somewhere were watching me. Having never really given a damn about the opposite sex, I had no idea how much preparation and general fraudulence goes into this sort of thing.

I'm not looking to land the guy, but I would not be opposed to it happening. Mostly, I just want him to want to hang out with me more. I just want to make sure that he is as big a part of my life as possible. If the biggest part he can be is some guy I have a drink with once a month, then so be it. I want to make that happen.

I don't have a large circle of friends, obviously. I had better shoot up a school or something.

All right. I have to go get rid of my mustache and maybe shave beyond my knees.